May 25, 2014: Miles’ last day

Exactly 34 days after coming home, Brooke decided to go on a run while Cade stayed with Miles. By the time she got back, Cade knew something was wrong with Miles’ breathing. 

They quickly called 911. Brooke rode in the ambulance with Miles, while Cade drove behind them.

“When I walked in, I saw people freaking out and working on somebody in a room, and I didn’t want to believe that was my kid,” Cade said. “But I could tell.”

After waiting for what felt like forever, the doctor told them they couldn’t save Miles. Cade felt the doctor’s words all the way down to his bones.

“I’ve never felt like that, not being able to control my body,” Cade said. “I was cold. I was hot. I had goosebumps. Just nothing was working right.”

In the weeks that followed, depression settled in. Cade did nothing and everything at the same time to occupy his mind, even building a full deck in their backyard.

“I’m a pretty positive person, but that was a hard time to do anything,” Cade said. “I tried to distract myself with projects and things… but it doesn’t ever really help. It just puts off the grief or a little bit longer.”

Slowly, everything that they used to help Miles for the past five weeks was taken out of the house. 

“I remember them coming to pick up the IV machine and that was hard because that was like an extension of him, it felt like,” Brooke said. “And then the medical equipment kind of went away and you have this room, you have this nursery, you have all these things set up, and they’re just gone. The world does not make sense in that moment.”

As Cade was coping with this loss, it took a few months before he returned to working out. 

“Exercise has always been a good release for me,” Cade said. “A way to kind of clear my head, and I think about a lot of stuff when I run or bike.”

Almost immediately, Cade knew he wanted to do the Ironman. He had been thinking about doing one for years and even ran a half Ironman before, but after competing, he couldn’t imagine doing a full one. It would be too difficult.

But after losing Miles, he didn’t care how painful the Ironman would be. In fact, Cade wanted it to hurt.

“I wanted to suffer physically and mentally for one day, so maybe I could get a glimpse of what [Miles] was going through for his 69 days here on Earth,” Cade said.

So, three months after losing his son, Cade registered for the Ironman, which would take place on Aug. 2, 2015. He also signed up to fundraise for the Children’s Heart Foundation and ultimately raised $3,000. 

“Friends and family and people that just hear your story and donate, it’s kind of eye opening at how generous people can be,” Cade said. 

Cade started running, swimming and biking regularly on Jan. 1, 2015, and he trained for a minimum of two hours almost daily. During the week, he woke up at 5 a.m. to run or bike before work, then swam during his lunch break. He ran and biked longer distances over the weekend. 

“I thought about [Miles] every time I did a swim, a bike, a run, anything,” Cade said.

This went on for months, increasing in intensity as the race got closer.

“It was difficult to do, but I knew what my end goal was, and I knew I had to do these things to get there,” Cade said. 

The training eventually took a toll on Cade. Being an athletic trainer meant he had the resources and the knowledge to combat general soreness, but when he developed a stress fracture in his left leg in mid-June, there wasn’t an easy fix. 

The race was less than two months away, but the pain in his shin made it hard to walk, much less run. Cade was going on runs as long as 16 miles at that point, but it became clear that those days were over if he wanted his leg to heal in time for the Ironman. 

Although a stress fracture mere weeks before a big race would seem like a nightmare for most athletes, Cade wasn’t worried. He knew that his marathon training would carry over on the day of the race. Until then, he adapted his plans, cycling his legs in a running motion in the pool for hours.  

Beyond that, Cade barely thought about his injury. In his mind, a stress fracture paled in comparison to what Miles went through. If crossing the finish line meant he had to grit his teeth and run through the pain, so be it.

“I knew once I got to the run, I didn’t care if my leg just hurt and was painful,” Cade said. “I knew I was going to finish the race.”