Rubbing the sleep away from my eyes, my surroundings came into focus. I became completely overwhelmed by the beauty of the mountains and trees that lined the highway. I rubbed my wonder-filled eyes again because surely, this had to be a dream. A place like this could not be real. A place like this made me believe in love at first sight.

At the age of 10, stepping on the University of Arkansas’ campus already felt like home. It made me feel special. It felt mine.
My dad brought me to the Senior Walk where his name is etched into the concrete under the graduating class of 1984. I felt a desire to have my name somewhere among the miles of alumni.

When we arrived at Bud Walton Arena the next day for my cousin’s graduation ceremony, my fire had still not gone out. I remained captivated by everything around me. I imagined myself at basketball games with my roommates, “Calling the Hogs” during a game winning basket. Snapping back into reality, I spotted my cousin walking in with hundreds of others dressed in her black graduation cap and gown.

“That’s going to be me one day,” I thought giddily.

From that day my dad called me his little Razorback girl. The t-shirts and jersey that he bought me are big enough to still fit me after all these years. The special feeling Arkansas gifted me made me feel invincible for four years.

But everything changed when my sister, Haley, began her college search.

I always thought that the magic I felt in Arkansas was the same way she felt about UT, but I was wrong. She started looking into other universities, including Arkansas. My stomach dropped when she went on her official college visit. I wanted to be her. My jealousy subsided when she visited Auburn. I felt safe again, I even started to like the idea of us being SEC rivals. But, ultimately Arkansas won her heart, just as it had mine.

I cried after we helped Haley move in. She got to stay in Arkansas, and I had to spend another four years in Texas. I wanted to be the one at the football games. I wanted to be the one discovering the best Fayetteville had to offer like Hammontree’s and Fayettechill. I wanted to be the one there. My jealousy eventually turned into unforgivable bitterness.

After a while I almost despised the school. I felt as if Haley had taken something that was mine.

My sophomore year, I started looking into other colleges. I desperately wanted to find another place that made me feel the same way I felt when I first stepped on campus back in 2006. School after school I was disappointed.

Time and time again my parents offered to take me up to Fayetteville to meet with the journalism school. Rather than swallowing my pride and anger, I relentlessly fought with my parents. They practically forced me into going, and I have to admit I’m thankful that they did. Walking around on campus again gave me the sense of peace, comfort and love that all the other colleges could not provide.

I knew this was home.

All my anger and fear that came with Haley choosing Arkansas seemed to vanish in an instant. I realized how ridiculous it was to think that Arkansas was mine and mine alone. There are over 26,000 students that have every right to call it theirs, including my sister.

After two years of silent sulking and random outlashes, I finally was able to let it all go. Because of this I have been able to spend the last few months sharing the excitement of my application process, my acceptance, housing contract signing and orientation signup with Haley.

Eight years ago I promised my father I was going to live in Fayetteville someday and in eight months I will fulfill that promise when I move into my dorm at the University of Arkansas. My freshman year will be little sweeter knowing that my sister will be just a few streets away.

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