As students sluggishly slip back into their daily routines after a week of cruising around the Caribbean or getting that pre-prom tan down in Mexico, I’d like to take a moment to outline all of the reasons why I hate Spring Break, or rather the effects of it.

Reason 1: Spring Break is a trick. Giving students a week-long break from the stresses of homework and tests and college preparations (ha! Like that one ever goes away) almost convinces us that it’s summer. Then, as that awful Monday approaches, we are painfully ripped away from the fantasy and pulled into a new wave of stress as we struggle to finish reading The Great Gatsby or write that story for the school newspaper before the break is up. This kind of deception can only be loathed.

Reason 2: Sunburns. This next one is more of a personal problem, but I still find it incredibly relevant to my cause. At the moment, I cannot move my eyebrows without feeling pain, and part of my right forearm is nine shades redder than the rest of my skin. Ouch. Some might say that this is my own fault, that I should’ve put on SPF 100 before stepping foot outside. But I guess I just didn’t realize that the one day I decided to take the top off my car would also be the day Texas decided to “spring” into summer.

Reason 3: I never want to see fast food ever again in my life. This past week has been filled with French fries, Starbucks, pizza and more pizza. Road trips often leave you unable to make home-cooked meals or eat anything even remotely healthy for that matter. When you’re four hours in on an eight-hour trip and you’re hungry, even fried pies from a local rest stop can sound appetizing. This week has left my wallet thin and my stomach quite the opposite.

Reason 4: Laziness is addicting. When you spend several days doing nothing but watching movies and catching up on TV shows, it’s hard to motivate yourself to do anything else, like actually waking up early and going to school. After this week of laziness, all I want is more time to be lazy. If I have any energy left in me, I better find it and find it quickly before AP tests arrive.

Maybe I’m just being too cynical for my own good. Maybe Spring Break wasn’t such a bust after all. There were some good times, right? I mean really, who doesn’t love a holiday that leaves your skin fried, your thighs thickened and your motivation shot? Well, at least it’s over.