Dear Delusion:
Sometimes you get the best of us.
He opened the door for me? He’s obsessed with me.
She looked at me in the halls and smiled? I’m in love.
Most of us have had that person who somehow infiltrated our entire lives because of how much we like them. Suddenly, every little thing they do gives us butterflies or makes us giggle. At some point, a one-sided crush and these cute, seemingly harmless little fantasies, turns into a desire for more. But sometimes, the lack of reciprocity can kill us. Everyone enjoys living in a fantasy world where the person they want the most is theirs —- but what if that fantasy started slipping into a reality where only heartbreak and toxicity exist?
Here’s what social media tells us: toxic romance is hot; being given the bare minimum is worthy of infatuation; chasing after a person who’s already tried ignoring you will eventually work.
Whether it be inspired by the recent tarot card reading I got on my FYP that told me my true love was coming (supposedly, the name starts with the letter “S”) or normalized from the infinite edits filled under a hashtag of the red-flag villain with wildy freaky comments, you, Delusion, have given us horribly damaging ideas to our generation. Sometimes, you make things fun, but other times we’re headed in the complete wrong direction. All the praise and the thirsting sets us back centuries, where toxicity and not standing up for yourself thrived.
Now, many young women and men express how they only want a partner who’s obsessed with them. Crushes are no longer tame. Every mundane thing their crush does or says is taken to the extreme only causing them to fall deeper into a trance. Even stalking is normalized because why does this girl know his address? He’s spoken to her all but once. Of course, you help us all fawn over cute guys hoping they’ll like us back and geeking out over a touch of the hand, but there’s still a healthy extent to that.
Sometimes, I overhear girls mentioning how their entire day is ruined all because a man didn’t look her way. When did doing the barest of the bare minimum make us so infatuated? It’s truly upsetting watching girls cry over boys who never did them right. You have blinded them to realizing and discovering red flags. Sometimes it’s ignored because their partner is “attractive” and does their “best.” What people see might be an entirely fabricated version of what they want to see and like, not who that person actually is. They could be getting themselves into something harmful and dangerous, not even realizing it before it’s too late.
In turn, attempts at building a real, healthy relationship might always be diminished because people don’t learn or understand the true meaning of a relationship. Those who have fallen under your trance will settle for much less than they deserve because they aren’t even aware of how a proper relationship works. The idea of love is completely skewed with you in the picture, Delusion. You’ve changed people’s perspectives on dating and seriously “finding the one.”
Humans are supposed to love and appreciate others in ways that also prioritize their own well being. With you around, people get hurt more often in entirely avoidable situations. Love should be fun. Love should be exciting. Love should be sincere. You’re destroying one of the only parts of life that is bona fide.
Obsession is not love. It’s a product of unhealthy desires and unattainable feelings. Maybe we all become obsessed because we’re obsessed with the idea of love, not a person. You’ve given us the false hope that we can finally be given the same love that we have tried to share but have never been reciprocated.
Do people give love simply to love, or do people give love in hopes to be loved?
This is why I want to break up with you, Delusion. I’ve given you too much attention, and I am still never happy. You’ve infiltrated my head and spun a fantasy that will only ever exist in my heart. You’re the red flag and you’re only holding me back from loving truly and genuinely. I finally want to let go and love in peace: no obsessions, no unhealthy interpretations of love, and no heartbreak where there was no love to begin with.
It’s not me, it’s you. Goodbye, Delusion. It has not been real.
XOXO
Macy & Renee
