I sit on the sand, fine particles sticking to my thighs. With each breath, I am met with the salty scent of ocean water. The waves aren’t violent; they’re so calming that if I close my eyes I can fall asleep. Next to me is my dog, Oreo, observing the few families still sprawled out on the beach. Staring into the glistening water meeting the setting sun, my mind is empty. I admire the beautiful bright oranges, pinks, and purples streaking the sky. There are no anxious thoughts, no one there to judge. But, most importantly, I am not distracted by the exhausting need to please the people I considered my friends.
My happiness had always been dictated by the number of people who approved of me. I modified my personality to please people. The thought of someone disliking me or not wanting to be my friend destroyed me.
Being on my own was one of my biggest insecurities. The absence of others magnified my own flaws, often leaving me feeling vulnerable. The company of other people acted as a shield. Solitude was my biggest fear.
But now, this moment on the beach, with only the gentle rippling of the waves and the reassuring presence of Oreo right next to me, the difference between solitude and loneliness is finally obvious to me. Solitude is not about isolation or abandonment; it provides opportunity for self-discovery. It gives me a chance to connect with my own emotions and my own feelings without the burden of external pressures.
As I watch the sun disappear behind the clouds, casting a soft glow across the landscape, I can’t help but stare in awe at the majestic sight right in front of me. For the first time in years, I truly felt at peace with myself and the world around me.
With each passing moment I feel a newfound sense of liberation. I no longer need validation from other people to feel worthy. Finally, I am enough for myself. That realization fills me with empowerment.
The last traces of daylight fade from the sky and the stars began to twinkle. Silently, I make a promise to myself – to prioritize my own well being above everything else. I will not let the fear of losing one person deteriorate my personality or happiness any longer.
The beach, once a landmark for insecurities, has now become my sanctuary of peace. Gentle caresses of the waves echo tales of self discovery and the salty breeze whispers secrets of resilience. With the ocean as my witness and the stars as my guide, I carry that strength through the winding path of the future, knowing I am my best friend.
