It all started in 5th grade homeroom when I was the new kid. I had just moved from a different side of Highland Village. It was my first time back to the school since moving. I couldn’t wait to see the principal who got my shy kindergarten self to smile. Although I was close with the principal, I still felt like an outcast. The first day of school was one of the most stressful days of my life. The second I walked into the class, I felt everyone’s eyes burning holes right into my skin. It seemed as if I didn’t belong. They continued to stare while the teacher introduced me. My palms become sweaty and I couldn’t stop fidgeting my hands. She then pointed at an open desk near the back of the class. I walked over to it and sat down.
I’ve never been one to enjoy being the center of attention around unfamiliar faces. Among all my friends, I’ve always been the quiet one. It always took time for me to open up and feel comfortable.
Often I would ask myself, “What’s wrong with me?” and “Why am I so afraid to do the simplest tasks?” Easy things, like walking into a full class, gave me so much anxiety. Eventually when I reached middle school, I realized that I’m very different from the rest of my friends. After several visits to a variety of therapists, my parents explained to me that I have ADHD, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, a chronic condition in brain development and brain activity that affects attention, the ability to sit still and self-control.
From that point, I had a better understanding as to why it was harder for me to get rid of the anxiety and focus in class. Later on, I found out that I had been diagnosed as a child, and my parents had been working hard to get me help. Once I found the right therapist, I started trying different medications. It felt like every pill I took wasn’t working.
One night I had a horrible reaction to a medicine I had been taking for only two weeks. I began to feel dizzy, and my vision became blurry. It was so hard for me to move due to the tingling in my legs. I felt like I was dying. My dad immediately became worried after taking my temperature and took me to the ER.
The moment I walked through the emergency room doors my body felt limp. I sat down in a chair towards the back of the room shivering from the cold air.
Finally the nurse brought me back into a smaller room and tested my vitals. The entire time she was hooking me up to machines I was trying not to pass out. My palms and forehead were extremely sweaty and my hot flashes were getting worse.
I spent the next 24 hours in the Flower Mound Presbyterian Hospital. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me. It wasn’t until they placed me in a hospital room and gave me medicine that I began feeling better.
It didn’t take long for me to return back to my healthy self. I stopped taking that particular medication and began working with my therapist for the next year about my anxiety. I took a break from medication for a month before trying a new prescription. Eventually I didn’t need to see a therapist anymore and started opening up to my parents more. My social anxiety has faded away and I’ve become a completely different person. I’ve become more confident and have learned to not care about others opinions. Right now I couldn’t be more proud of myself.
