I used to dread the moment when people would discover I had no religion – that I belong to no church and am neither Catholic nor Baptist. But I shouldn’t have to.

Religion was never forced upon me when I was younger, nor was it prohibited. If I had told my parents one day that I wanted to be Catholic or go to church every Sunday, they would have wholeheartedly supported me. I did however grow up in a world where church was not the center of life, and where people were not ostracized by society for not believing in God.

I can’t force myself to believe in a higher being, not because it wasn’t instilled in me from an early age, nor because I feel it will make me more socially acceptable. I can’t because my mind doesn’t accept that the world was created by one being – evolution makes sense to me. And just because I don’t believe in God, I don’t think I’m a bad person. I still devote time as a volunteer for my community. I love my family and friends. I study hard in school and have commendable grades to prove it, and I don’t think I’ve ever committed an act of pure maliciousness. Still, I can’t help but feel as though I’m constantly being judged on my lack of belief in religion.

I’m tired of the questions, “What church do you go to?” And when I answer, “I don’t,” I hate the awkward “Oh,” in response and arched eyebrows. I hate when people try to convert me to believe what they do. No matter how much they argue with me, I’m not going to acquiesce to their religion. I want to be accepted in all my non-religious glory.

I’ve fruitlessly tried to find something to believe in, some way to fit in, but my efforts were in vain. I couldn’t force myself to believe God exists. Then one day I discovered Buddhism on the shelves of Half Price Books. I had encountered it in school – AP World History sophomore year – but I’d never really thought too much into it. For some reason this time, it stuck in my mind. The Four Noble Truths, the Eightfold Path, the three Dharma seals (or three basic facts about Being). It all made sense. However, I’m not going to call myself a Buddhist – I’m hardly a disciple. But for me, it’s not a religion. It’s a philosophy.

Buddha was not a god. That’s what makes the philosophy so clear to me. I like to read endlessly about Buddhism, the art of Zen and even the story of Buddha’s life. Buddhism provides an outlet for the faith I don’t have – and for the beliefs within me. Because life does contain suffering. I maintain that the Eightfold Path will eventually bring me a life full of peace rather than pain, and that this world is not the only reality we may live in.

I embrace the Buddhist ideal that when we die, our souls never leave the earth. Rather we are transformed into the soil beneath our feet, or the flowers sprouting from the ground. Life within one’s soul is perpetual. Buddhism is something for me to believe in while the whole world is telling me it’s God, heaven and hell.

I don’t tell people that they can’t have faith in God or that I think it’s ludicrous to wake up early on Sunday mornings to attend church, because I don’t think it is ludicrous. I am accepting of all faiths, so I would appreciate it if people would accept mine. If I don’t criticize others for praying to God, I wish they would peacefully acknowledge my spirituality.

But again, Buddhism is just what I take comfort in, and I have no issue with other people seeking comfort in other convictions. I will not defame those who have religious beliefs nor do I insult their religions, and I would wish the same from them.