I could say that I was helplessly in love, that I had never experienced a feeling quite like it. I could say that I had never met anyone that would even compare. I could say that I’ll never get over him—that my heart can’t go on. Of course, if I did say these things I’d be lying. But as I listen to Coldplay’s new “Mylo Xyloto”—a band I never thought of giving a second chance to before him—I can’t help but wish I had approached the situation differently.

I met Chris at a summer journalism convention. He sat next to me in my feature writing class. When he walked into the room I noticed him immediately, he was tall and lanky and had the most stunning blue eyes. Within the first thirty minutes of class his hand was in the air answering questions or offering helpful tips. This, along with the fact that he was wearing TOMS, khaki shorts and a V-neck led me to the conclusion that I was going to dislike the know-it-all-hipster.

To my dismay we were partnered up. He introduced himself as Chris and gave a half smile, and for whatever reason Mr. Know-it-all had charmed me. As we talked I learned that he was from Kansas, a senior and was not in fact arrogant, just very passionate about what he does.

The next four days were spent laughing at the valley girl and Luna Lovegood in the class after breaks, doing my best attempts at flirty, witty banter and sneaking sideways glances at him when his attention was at the front of the room. On the third day, I stealthily grabbed his phone and programmed my number into it. What he did with that was out of my hands.

“What do you have to lose? He doesn’t even live here,” my friend reasoned as I chewed on my lip, debating whether or not texting Chris was a good idea.

I typed a quick hello and pressed send before I could think anymore about it. Instant reply.

After that, Chris and I texted everyday. The crush I had formed at the convention became full-fledged infatuation as our textual conversations transformed from the favorites game to more personal discussions. My imagination ran wild as I thought about the potential of a long-distance relationship, it would be just like a movie. I never stopped to think about it realistically.

Long story short, Chris and I are no longer in text-contact. First off, after a rather tumultuous three-year relationship I wasn’t in a good place when I met him. And second, my tendency to over analyze and lash out got the best of me, I said some things I didn’t mean, and if I could take them back I would in a heart beat. But I can’t.

I’ve always had an unrealistic-movie type expectation of love, even friendships. Because of the distance and the complications I thought Chris could be my unrealistic-movie. Of course now I see how ridiculous this was. After all I’m only in high school.

My inability to see things realistically when it comes to relationships ultimately proved to be my downfall in the Kansas ordeal. I built up these ideas in my head about how things would turn out and made Chris out to be someone he probably isn’t. I did something a lot of girls are guilty of: I let my imagination get the best of me.