I’m just going to put this out there:

We nerds at Marcus need to stop getting so much attention.

We do, of course, appreciate the baskets of warm sugar cookies and Sour Patch Kids delivered to us by peppy cheerleaders after we’ve spent days slaving over study materials for that brutal US History test.

Yes, we know you love us when we see you come clad in red shirts and face paint to our UIL meets, especially at 8 a.m. on Saturdays. We think it’s cool- that the drill team and band perform the “fight” song during the most critical parts of the competition when Flower Mound and Marcus face off in Calculator Science.

It really brightens my day when I walk into a cafeteria where the walls are covered with red posters draped in streamers reading “Nerd Swag.” Everyone high-fives us when we roll through the hallways with our oversized backpacks and TI-84 Plus Silver Edition calculators.

The pep rallies are always a nice break from class. My favorite part is when the Top 5 from every grade make their grand entrance through a pathway of smiling Marquettes and rustling pom poms.

Hats off to Marcus administration for introducing the Adopt-a-Nerd program at McAuliffe Elementary school, where we meet with third graders and discuss scientific inquiries of the day, read to them key selections from Junie B. Jones and edit their “What I want to be when I grow up” essays.

But seriously guys, we need some space.

We’re sick of posing in your Facebook profile pictures. You want to be seen with us, we get it, but honestly sometimes we just need to get to our next class. We also want to get away from those probing, often personal questions that you fans shout at us. Do I prefer Spark Notes or Cliff Notes? Princeton Review or Barron’s? That kind of stuff is on a need-to-know basis.

We don’t take your emphatic support of us for granted. Of course we look kindly towards a society in which being a nerd is glorified, in which academics is paramount and where a 100 on a pre-Cal test is a badge of honor you wear around for weeks. Where would we be without such a society? Hiding behind the reference shelf in libraries? Afraid to act smart out of fear of being the butt of a joke?

That being said, there are other organizations, other student interests that need more publicity more than we do. I almost feel bad for the varsity athletes, the football players especially. While we nerds are over here with our baskets of testing day goodies and armies of worshiping third graders, the football players toil under a scorching sun all afternoons of the week, then have to walk around hungry and unloved on game days. Everyone needs to feel appreciated sometimes, and here we are, as the nerd community, trying to hand off the torch to someone who can use a little extra spotlight.

*this column is purely satirical social commentary